forming new habbits

here is a tedxtalk that will help you start new habbits

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meditate everyday

here is a method to do meditation everyday by actualized.org

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overcoming emotional blocks method 2

here is a great intro to the works by byron katie. She helps you to self introspect and heal yourself.

 

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how to overcome emotional blocks method 1

the sedona method is one of the best ways to deal with emotional blocks that are preventing your progress in terms of fat loss

here is a brief intro to it

Step 1. Welcome the Feeling

Focus on the issue that you want to feel better about.

Simply feel the feeling and allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment.

Welcome the feeling.  It doesn’t have to be strong.

It is what it is.

Step 2.  Ask 3 Questions

While feeling the feeling, ask yourself 3 questions:

1. Could I let this feeling go?
2. Would I let this feeling go?
3. When?

When you ask yourself, “Could I let this feeling go?”,  remind yourself that you can let any emotion go, like dropping an object (more on this below.)

When you ask yourself, “Would you let the feeling go?”, consider whether you would you rather hold on to pain, stress, and suffering, or, would you rather be free?

When you ask yourself, “When?”, what you’re doing is creating an invitation to do it now.

Step 3. Repeat the Process Until You Feel Free

In some cases it will be quick, in others it will take some repetition and practice.  Repeat the process of letting go, and you’ll find that you can let go a little more each time.  You may have to peel away the layers, but as you practice letting go, you’ll learn to break the chains and dissolve what’s holding you back.

Keep in mind, this is a heart thing, not a head thing, and it’s all about helping you deal with a heavy heart, or a stressed out body, or a negative mind.

Let Go of the Negative, Hold On to the Positive

I want to take a brief moment to point out something that might really help make this stick.

Sadly, we often hold ourselves back by holding on to negative emotions.

If we use that negative emotion for extra motivation and inspiration to take action and to do something about it, great.

But more often than not, we simply stew in our own juices, paralyze ourselves with fear, or cripple our body and mind.  When we hold on to negative emotions, we bog ourselves down.  If you’ve ever noticed that your shoulders are tight, or your stomach is in a knot, or your fingers are clenched, you know what I mean.

We need to let go.

Surprisingly, many people let go of positive emotions faster, but hold onto negative ones.

Isn’t that ironic?

Let’s flip that around.

go to the youtube channel here

listen to some audio version here

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how to overcome emotional blocks that hamper your fat loss

There are certain hidden/not so hidden emotional blocks that prevent you from succeding in most areas of your life.These emotions range from childhood emotions to adulthood influenced emotions.

The problem is that maybe something happend to you as a child and it affects how you view the world at your current state.

here is an example by nickheap

An example

As a very small child, I was allowed to ask lots of difficult questions and my parents were always very honest with me when they did not know the answers. They would say, “We don’t know, you will have to find out for yourself”. So, I continued to ask questions when I was at school, and later, and soon got into lots of trouble with teachers and headmasters who don’t often like being questioned! I got humiliated several times for “impertinence” and caned for breaking silly rules.

This had left me feeling very uncomfortable about meeting very senior people in organisations as I anticipated that I would be ridiculed and humiliated again. Now there is no “rational” logic in this. I am not going to be caned and am very unlikely to be ridiculed now when I meet the CEO of  “Intergalactic Enterprises” but it still feels like that! There is emotional logic.

here is some of the ways in which you can remove some of them

“The natural way

If you see a very small child fall over and bang her knee, she will typically whimper a bit and then look for her Mum or someone she knows and run towards that person, be held warmly, kissed better and have a good cry. If the parent allows that to happen, she will cry and cry and then stop and go back to what she was doing full of energy and fully recovered.

This is the natural way we recover from hurts, by finding another person and that person listening, supporting, accepting and helping us express our feelings fully. This can be by talking, laughing, sweating, shaking, crying, angry movements (a “tantrum”) or yawning.

You will all have done something really silly sometimes, I know I have, and when to talk about it to a friend you laugh and get hot. After this, you realise it was not as bad as all that and that you have learned something valuable that you can use in future and what you did was based on your best thinking at the time. You get new insights after emotional release.

Unfortunately, there are some problems with using the natural process in organisations. The first is that that most organisations do not encourage or accept the free and full expression of feelings. Yet doing so may be the best way to free the intelligence of their staff and thus improve the organisation’s ability to deliver. The second is that most of us don’t appreciate the value of paying attention to others and allowing or encouraging other people to express their feelings. It does not have to be this way.

Every attempt we make to listen to people or to help them listen to each other, will help.

Cocounselling

“Counselling” is associated in people’s minds with dealing with deficit, illness or personal trauma and so cocounselling may be too.

However, cocounselling  is not this but a way to organise and enable the natural process of growth, as above. In a cocounselling session one person, the client, works on an issue and the other person, the counsellor, provides the support, attention, closeness and love that is enough to help the client feel safe enough to express all her/his feelings about the topic fully. The client may talk, cry, sweat, shake, get angry just as in above and afterwards have new insights and be able to move on. After, for example, half an hour the participant’s can have a little break and then swap roles.

You can find out much more about this in the literature on re-evaluation counselling http://www.rc.org/ or cocounselling international http://co-counselling.info

Coconsulting

This uses the idea of sharing time and taking turns listening to each other, but tends to keep the process lighter which may be easier for some organisations. I have written about it here coconsulting. Sometimes people find the idea of talking to each other about the issues that concern them and actively helping by listening quite difficult. This may indicate that we need to build more mutual trust in organisations. Paradoxically, doing coconsulting or cocounselling together is one of the best ways of building trust that I know. You just have to start!

A few techniques for shifting emotional blocks

Use a “contradiction”

A contradiction is something that goes in the precisely opposite direction to the emotional block. It can be something you ask the client to do or say. An example may help.

I was teaching a counselling course and about to show people how to do it by working “live” with a one of the course members in front of the group. K’s issue was that she liked J very much but was too embarrassed to ask him out. She also did not want to appear “cheap”. I contradicted her fear by asking her what she would like to do if she were totally unafraid.

Eventually, after getting very hot, she said she would like to say, “I really like you and would like to get to know you better”. She liked this, as it was direct and honest. Then we contradicted the embarrassment by her saying this directly, with much laughter and more heat, to the other eight people in the group! Afterwards, she realised she could talk to him and would and any residual anxiety was not going to stop her.

She did talk to J as she planned and the last I heard they were happily married and had two children.

When was the first time this happened?

Emotional blocks can arise quite early in life and still have consequences long afterwards. You still can be very helpful using simple questions and listening hard. An example may help.

Fiona worked in large company and was quite senior and technically excellent. Her manager told her that she would not get any further until she learned how to be less aggressive in meetings. That was the bad news; the good news was that I was available to help her, if she wished. It turned out that she was the youngest of five children, all the rest were boys and the only way she could get any attention was to SHOUT. When she realised that she was doing in the company what she had to do as a child to survive, she changed her behaviour.

What is the worst that could happen?

Another paradox is that fear is only powerful if we take it seriously. The classic “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers is all about this. The question, above, can help people face their fears and realise they don’t have to be imprisoned by them. Another example follows.

Peter was overwhelmed with work. His health, marriage and work were suffering. We talked about what he could do and realised one possible source of help was his staff. He was a bit scared of involving them, he wondered if they would find him weak and would lose their cooperation. He realised that the “worst thing that could happen” would be that he would then find his job truly intolerable and would leave and that would mean he would have a break to think, spend more time at home and that would be OK!

Peter levelled with his people and asked for their help and it worked wonderfully well. He realised he was doing half of his managers job as well as his own and was able to get rid of this work. His staff offered to do some of his work. His team were glad to help because they understood why it was necessary. By being open and vulnerable he created great support and team spirit too.”

this is a really big topic so this should be considered as an introduction to the topic.

if you want further reading you should consider the sedona method and the works of byron katie

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Lose Stubborn body Fat

in this article Michael Mathews describes why its difficult to loose stubborn fat using traditional dieting methods and why they cause you to fail

he mentions that why its better to train fasted. he says

Your body is in a “fasted” state when insulin is at a low, baseline level and fat stores are the primary source of energy.

The size and composition of a meal as well as various physical factors determine how long it takes for your body to process and absorb the food you eat and enter a fasted state.

There aren’t hard and fast rules but here’s what you should know:

• ~30 grams of whey protein will take 2 to 3 hours to fully process,
• carbs aren’t the only macronutrient that stimulates insulin production–protein and dietary fat do as well
• dietary fat also slows down the digestion of a mixed meal, causing insulin levels to remain elevated for longer,

The bottom line is the larger the meal, the larger the insulin response and the longer it will take to come back to a fasted state.

This is why most people that train fasted do so first thing in the morning, after at least 8+ hours of time has elapsed since their last meal.

If you can’t do that, then I recommend you eat no more than 30 to 40 grams of protein (whey is particularly good because of how quickly it’s processed) with only trace amounts of carbohydrate and fat (10 grams or less) and wait 3 to 5 hours before exercising.

Now, why bother with fasted training? Because it accelerates fat loss…and especially if combined with a few supplements.

Weight training a fasted state is particularly effective and training first thing in the morning has an added benefit, as fasting for longer than 6 hours increases your body’s ability to burn fat.

Before we dive into the details, I want to make one thing clear: fasted training doesn’t let you somehow “cheat” the laws of energy balance. If you’re not a calorie deficit, no amount of fasted training is going to help you get leaner.

That said, fasted training does “optimize” fat loss in several ways.

Insulin blunts lipolysis (the breakdown of fat cells for energy) and fat oxidation (the burning of the fatty acids resulting from lipolysis), and that’s why the higher your insulin levels are during exercise, the less fat you’ll burn in those workouts.

This is why research shows that exercising when insulin levels are at a baseline levels burns slightly more fat than exercising with higher insulin levels.

(Remember, though, that the workouts will burn large amounts of glucose, which will cause your body to have to turn to its fat stores for energy sooner than if you hadn’t exercised. This is why exercise done in a fed state (elevated insulin levels) is still effective for losing fat.)

Furthermore, blood flow in the abdominal region is increased when you’re in a fasted state. This means that catecholamines can reach the stubborn fat easier, resulting in more stubborn fat mobilization.

This is why many fitness competitors swear by the strategies outlined in this article for getting rid of the final bits of stubborn fat that take you from “lean” to “shredded.”

Fasted training does have one significant drawback, however: accelerated breakdown of muscle tissue. 

This is undesirable because a calorie deficit, which is necessary for losing fat, puts you at a protein turnover disadvantage. Thus, higher amounts of protein degradation can result in more muscle loss.

Fortunately, you can prevent this with proper supplementation.

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how to have focus

there different tips and tricks that you can use to keep 100% focus on your goals and dreams. here is a great article by jamesclear about goals in the realm of fat loss

The Myth of Passion and Motivation

On this particular day in the gym, there was a coach visiting who had worked with thousands of athletes over his long career, including some nationally-ranked athletes and Olympians.

I had just finished my workout when I asked him, “What’s the difference between the best athletes and everyone else. What do the really successful people do that most people don’t?”

He briefly mentioned the things that you might expect. Genetics. Luck. Talent.

But then he said something I wasn’t expecting.

“At some point,” he said, “it comes down to who can handle the boredom of training every day and doing the same lifts over and over and over again.”

That piece of advice surprised me because it’s a different way of thinking about work ethic.

Most of the time people talk about getting motivated and “amped up” to work on their goals. Whether it’s business or sports or art, you will commonly hear people say things like, “it all comes down to having enough passion.”

As a result, I think many people get depressed when they lose focus or motivation because they think that successful people have some unstoppable passion and willpower that they seem to be missing. But that’s exactly the opposite of what this coach was saying.

Instead, he was saying that really successful people feel the same boredom and the same lack of motivation that everyone else feels. They don’t have some magic pill that makes them feel ready and inspired every day. But the difference is that the people who stick with their goals don’t let their emotions determine their actions. Top performers still find a way to show up, to work through the boredom, and to embrace the daily practice that is required to achieve their goals.

According to him, it’s this ability to do the work when it’s not easy that separates the top performers from everyone else. That’s the difference between professionals and amateurs.

Working When Work Isn’t Easy

Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated.

When I was an athlete, I loved going to practice the week after a big win. Who wouldn’t? Your coach is happy, your teammates are pumped up, and you feel like you can beat anyone. As an entrepreneur, I love working when customers are rolling in and things are going well. Getting results has a way of propelling you forward.

But what about when you’re bored? What about when the work isn’t easy? What about when it feels like nobody is paying attention or you’re not getting the results you want?

Are you willing to work through 10 years of silence?

It’s the ability to work when work isn’t easy that makes the difference.

It’s Not the Event, It’s the Process

All too often, we think our goals are all about the result. We see success as an event that can be achieved and completed.

Here are some common examples…

• Many people see health as an event: “If I just lose 20 pounds, then I’ll be in shape.”
• Many people see entrepreneurship as an event: “If we could get our business featured in the New York Times, then we’d be set.”
• Many people see art as an event: “If I could just get my work featured in a bigger gallery, then I’d have the credibility I need.”

Those are just a few of the many ways that we categorize success as a single event.

But if you look at the people who are consistently achieving their goals, you start to realize that it’s not the events or the results that make them different. It’s their commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice, not the individual event.

What’s funny, of course, is that this focus on the process is what will allow you to enjoy the results anyway…

If you want to be a great writer, then having a best-selling book is wonderful. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of writing.

If you want the world to know about your business, then it would be great to be featured in Forbes magazine. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of marketing.

If you want to be in the best shape of your life, then losing 20 pounds might be necessary. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of eating healthy and exercising consistently.

If you want to become significantly better at anything, you have to fall in love with the process of doing it. You have to fall in love with building the identity of someone who does the work, rather than merely dreaming about the results that you want.

In other words…

Fall in love with boredom. Fall in love with repetition and practice. Fall in love with the process of what you do and let the results take care of themselves.

 

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